Staring

“He knew almost nothing about himself.  And the little he did know made him want to know less.” – from The Brothers K by David James Duncan

When you wake up and peer into the mirror in the bathroom in the morning, what do you see?  Who looks back at you?  Do you see a soul ready to move forward, to grow and develop and learn?  Or do you see stagnation, purposelessness, a lack of resolve?  Or maybe you see a little of both?

Chances are good you fall in the gray area.  We all have a certain level of self-confidence onto which we can latch, but how many of us view ourselves as complete?

Lately, there is not much staring back at me from the mirror.   I am fortunate to be surrounded by wonderful and amazing people, but what I have done to raise myself up?  Honestly, not much.  I am, for lack of a better word, lazy. Much of my life has come remarkably easy, and what hasn’t come easy, has been easily avoided.  Oh, there are certain things about myself which I value, but I find those giving me small comfort as I look back, and then peer into the distance ahead of me.  Regrets… I’ve had a few… or more.  But I try not to live in them.  No, what sets me back are repeated mistakes.  Change does not occur unless it comes through irresistible circumstance.

I am a very weak person.  With a weak heart and soul.  So, where do I go from here?  Is there a workout plan for exercising the muscles that really matter?

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