A Thin Line Between Joy and Terror

Currently residing in that incredibly terrifying place between when you have something really cool happen with someone you happen to dig mightily, and when you see that person again.  The Storyteller works third shift, so weekends are the only opportunity to connect face-to-face, which has its perks and drawbacks.   It prevents me from being the typical smothering wool blanket, but it limits alternatives for times to get together – if I don’t see her this weekend, it’s a long wait to the next opportunity.

An added wrinkle is that I am not the only one in the picture.  She goes on dates.  I am surprisingly not intimidated by this, or jealous, because, so far, being me has worked out ok.  Maybe it will end up fizzling or some guy with incredible abs will sweep in and steal away this beauty, but she seems to kinda dig me for now.  So, I’ll roll with that.

It’s taking all the self-control I can muster to not text her.  But I am determined not to be clingy… ok, not to be as clingy as I usually am!  That’s mainly why I am pouring all this out here.  It’s funny, because of the original three that I started chatting with from the site, she seemed the longest shot.  Strange how things turn completely around.  The one who I thought would work out the best, I no longer chat with at all.  Have become friends of a sort with another.  But it’s The Storyteller who is still here.

We actually have not yet been out on a “date” date.  We got together and chatted the first time for an hour or so.  We road-tripped to a bar the second time.  Once she asked me to come down in the middle of the week when she was working first shift (a backrub – happily provided by moi – was the ultimate reason for the summons).  Three of the last four times have included her and her son –  I do wonder if any of the other guys have been lucky enough to spend that much time with her and how many have spent that much time with her son. (Competitive much?)  Anyway, I really would like to take her to dinner, a nice dinner.  She looks fantastic to begin with, so when she dresses up… wow. She was a gymnast and is still in great shape. and she’s on the shorter side, which I like… alot.  And I would like to really talk with her.  She’s a heckuva storyteller (hence the name, duh!), but I really am interested in diving in and finding out some deeper specifics about her, if she will allow.  Oh, and when she sings along with songs on the radio, she sounds good! Is there nothing she cannot do?

So, I plan to ask her on Wednesday or Thursday, and looking forward to the possible disappointment of her having plans already or just saying no.  I want to believe that I could just roll with it if she already has plans, just take a raincheck, but part of me knows that would suck and that’s the part of me that will probably take over,  unless by some act of God I learn how to become emotionally flexible and dynamic between now and then.  Of course, she could say yes, which initiates a whole new set of anxieties, but all in all, positive ones. If she flat-out says no… well, let’s not go there.

I’m seriously digging her.  I like being around her, I like thinking about her, and I feel less a dork about this whole thing than I have ever felt about anything like this in the past.  Plus, she is a Champion hugger, and we all know how I feel about that.

*** MINOR UPDATE – She texted me this morning after she was done with work!  Yay! (What am I, in junior high?)  Still… it’s cool.

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