Ooma is happily dating. He is good to her, and if he makes her happy, I can handle that. But now, there is a new wrinkle. She is bringing him out dancing. The thing is, dancing was our thing – as in “our group of friends” thing (my sis, Ooma, PK, and me). Now we’re adding a Yoko Ono to the mix. It will probably be just fine, but I’m having a little pissy moment about it right now. Conversely, I’m feeling rotten about being so selfish.
See, I’m not jealous of their relationship. Heck, I am pursuing possibilities in my own love life, and having a very good time! But, I miss talking with her. In the worst way. We haven’t had more than a couple minutes at a time to connect over the past month and a half. She even said, “It feels like we haven’t chatted in a long time.” Yup. That’s because we haven’t. She has new priorities and we don’t fit in, for now. There are things I really wanted to share with her, things we always really connected over. But, no dice. And it makes me angry at her. In fact, I want to scream at her, but I won’t. That’s not me. My anger is probably unfair, but that’s where my feelings are. Which is odd, because other things in life are going pretty swell.
She has spent practically every free moment with him. That’s not surprising. But then why does he have to come dancing, too? Take a break already! Or at least leave some time open for the rest of us. (Ok, that’s enough acting like a petulant teenager…) Is this what Paul, George, and Ringo felt like? Doubtful. It was a weak analogy anyway.
I have also avoided meeting him. Part of me does not want to because it puts a face to this amorphous idea. Plus, I’ll probably like him… the bastard. Well, at least I won’t have to worry about buying her drinks. He can do that, now.
So, now she’s bringing her boyfriend into another realm that was part of our friendship. I feel threatened, a little betrayed, and uncomfortable. But, in the same breath, I want to be ok with it, because, even through all this, she is my friend and she deserves my best effort.
Sometimes I can be a real wanker.