Are things really coming together? I mean, are there actually steps being taken in the correct chronological, metaphysical order in such a way that, where chutes would have invariably deposited me back at the beginning, I am now finding ladders leading somewhere?
Of course, there is a long, hard road ahead, and many more mistakes to be made and challenges to be met and endured: the whole weight struggle and need to maintain optimum health is a prime example. (Forgive me my incredible lack of will power concerning that, for a moment if you may. It has taken more energy than expected to just maintain a reasonable, if not wholly rational, outlook on matters of the heart lately.)
This particular chain of events is as surprising as it is welcome. First, a surprising pat on the back at work, when what I do sometimes feels less than important. Second, the people around me have shown an incredible knack lately for making me feel a part of something. Being included is such a great experience. And it’s been happening so effortlessly as if to prove just how much a blessing family and friends are. Finally, and most shockingly, someone who is possibly far too wonderful for me is actually showing a reciprocative interest. At least tentatively. Considering that for the last year, the probability of remaining a single, off-center, somewhat lonely, but pleasant, middle aging man (hopefully uncreepy) was practically a certainty. However, my optimistic romanticism was having nothing of it and soldiered on unhindered.
So here we are. Feeling good about the work I am doing for my employer. Thoroughly thankful for the treasure I have in my family and friends. Trying to rein in the wild abandon my emotions would like to explode with at the moment, and attempting to approach this positively pleasing possibility with a healthy sense of restraint in open defiance of my past bumbling. I’m generally feeling a little bit wonderful about a whole bunch of people in my life who are a lot wonderful.